Do you ever find yourself with nothing to write??? Even when your life is full of happenings and emotion.... Just nothing to say...

Ehhh... Well what can I say?? I have... Hence, no update on here since April??? Wow... That is definitely the longest break I have taken from blogging since I began.... It's so funny... I've still been stalking the blogs every Saturday, which is my usual blog updating day since every other site is blocked at work.... Been keeping up on everyone else's blogs, just haven't had the want to write anything new..... What makes today different??? I'm not sure... Just logged on today and said... "I think I will post about my non-posting..."

In the last few months I've realized that I've constantly surrounded myself with people that aren't the healthiest for me.... As a person, I know that I struggle with holding myself responsible for other peoples actions.... As a friend, I feel the urge to be there and help when someone asks for help, yet THEY DO NOT want to help themselves.... It tears me apart... Really, you can ask Mark... I become so emotional when a person I am close with is this way... (My wonderful hubby is right too... He always tells me I am a magnet)

Well, I did a little reading and found a few quotes that helped me get to an understanding....

"If you surround yourself with the good and righteous, they can only raise you up. If you surround yourself with the others, they will drag you down into the doldrums of mediocrity, and they will keep you there, but only as long as you permit it."" — Mark Glamack

"Some people need a red carpet rolled out in front of them in order to walk forward into friendship. They can't see the tiny outstretched hands all around them, everywhere, like leaves on trees. " — Miranda July

I've never been one to need a red carpet friend..... I have always been the most trusting and easily befriended person I know.... Unfortunately it has brought me to surround myself with a lot of "the other" kind of friends.... The ones that drag me down... Well, no more.....

I guess I'm back bloggin..... Welcome back!!!





"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." — Albert Camus

Trying out the new mobile blogging.... Maybe I will keep up with it a little better if I do it from my phone.... :-D

Such a sad world sometimes....

Please say a prayer. This world is full of so much tragedy.

I'm at work right now, waiting for our patient from ER who is 26 weeks pregnant and just found out her baby is no longer alive. Went into pre-eclampsia and began to seize.... We have to do a c-section to remove the baby.

Please say a prayer for this family.

.:.:Little of this...Little of that:.:.

It has been so long since I last blogged. Amazing. Where has the time gone?

As usual, we've just been working, and getting totally settled in the new place.... We've made it feel like home so quickly and even Obi has adjusted well and loves the new place. The yard is his love, he only comes inside when it's cold, raining, or he's hungry.... Lol... Funny enough, I haven't taken any pics of the place!!!! Soon enough, I'll get around to it. I still have a few handy girl projects I need to finish....

I thought I would post some random pics that I had from the end of the year and a few from this year too.... Here they are!

Knotts Merry Farm - Toys for Tots Days 2008

Can this little guy be any cuter? I don't think so.

Brayden giving cousin Noah a wet willy

Noah and Haylee @ SR Clarke - Dec 2008

Mel, Ann and Haylee @ The Mission Inn - Jan 2009

The gang @ Canton Bistro - Jan 2009

Couples / Family game night @ Edy and Jodies... We brought RB2

This weekend we will be hosting our first party at the new place.... A Super Bowl Party!!!! It's shaping up to be a great crowd..... Friends, family, friends that are like family.....maybe even some of our new neighbors.... We're having it catered by the taco guys... They're going to come and set up and make TJ tacos right here in the backyard!!! How cool is that!!!! Lots of other snack, goodies, munchies, and of course, plenty to drink. I'll be preparing the rest of the week so hopefully I get a bunch of pics and will be posting some next week....

My poor abused camera has been giving me trouble lately... That's why there aren't as many pics lately as there have been in the past... I think it's going into retirement slowly, just not sure when I will be able to afford a new one, so I will use this sucka until I see a white flag!

Well, I better get some sleep, I have a hectic rest of the week to prepare for.... Gnite!!!

Welcome 2009!

Happy New Year!!! I hope 2009 has been treating everyone well.

We've had a busy start to the year with moving into the house we are renting, settling in and decorating.... You know, making it feel like home. I think we are there. We got everything unpacked, put away, decorated and even painted a bathroom in less than one week... I was pretty proud.... There's still some more work to do on the yards and in the garage, but that will come in time...

It seems that when a new year begins everyone always makes those lovely resolutions that most don't stick to, and few actually achieve.... I don't want to put the pressure on myself to make unattainable resolutions but I have certainly in my mind and in my heart made my "personal goals" for this year. Just a few simple reminders that I'm not getting any younger and I need to take those steps to achieve what I want to eventually achieve... This year will be my last year in my 20's.... And while a lot of people I talk to say that their thirties have been their best years, I don't want there to be "best" years. I want to remember why each year was so great in my life. I want to remember what I did to be grateful for the days that I have been given on this earth. Be it seeing an old friend, visiting with family, going out with the girls, taking a vacation, laying on the couch with my hubby watching a movie.... you get the drift..... Nothing in this life should be taken for granted. Not the smallest seemingly insignificant act should be taken for granted. They all count.

I received a few quotes regarding the subject "Loving your shadows"

Here they are:

"There is that part of ourselves that feels ugly, deformed, unacceptable. That part, above all, we must learn to cherish, embrace, and call by name."
-- Macrina Wiederkehr

"The first step toward change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That's all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it's something you allow."
-- Will Garcia

As always.... I agree!!! I am my own worst critic. It is amazing to Mark how he can see me wearing an outfit and think I look beautiful in it, and I stand there next to him looking in the same mirror and wonder what he is seeing..... I've been trying really hard to let go. Let go of the ideas that have been beat in my head by the media and people in general. I will never be a size 2, I will never weigh 100 pounds.... It will never happen. Look at me, my wrists are almost the same circumference as Marks, I have acne, I have very broad shoulders for a girl, I am WAY overweight, I have big feet, I have a ugly broken tooth I so lovingly named my gimp tooth... All these things make a girl feel not up to par with the rest of the world. But I will not give in to them.... I will work as hard as I can to change them until I make myself feel better. Once I feel better, nothing else matters! So look out world, I'm on my way!

Well, I guess I better get driving home..... I was promised I wouldn't get called in again, so I'm gonna go home now, and get some sleep before I have to go to work again in 5 hours! Gnite!